The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
