butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
