girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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