There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
