I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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