How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
