i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
