I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
