# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
