Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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