She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
