That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize