Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
