Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
