get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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