That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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