If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
