What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
