no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
