I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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