Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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