I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
