It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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