just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
