I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
ttyl tear gas
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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