I CAN MOONWALK!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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