the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
