i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
