what day is it and did you see me today?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize