I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
