i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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