He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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