I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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