Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
