but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
