Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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