you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
