worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just forgot I was standing up.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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