i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
