Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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