Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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