never play flip cup with pint glasses
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
