haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize