She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
