and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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