My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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