Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
