this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
