I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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