So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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