so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
