forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Someone came in the potted fern
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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