Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
