he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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