There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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