I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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