someone get that fucking seahorse.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
