i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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