Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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