Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize