It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
