Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
