When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
ugly people sure do ruin things
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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