hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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