it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
