It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
