Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize