I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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