I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
