I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
