Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
