sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
